Living in this fast-paced time of rapid change, many of us find ourselves anxious or depressed. Often times we are quick to respond with negativity and reactivity in our relationships. We find ourselves trying to find fault in our partner and we feed our ‘bad wolf’ with judgement and criticism. It is more important now more than ever to cultivate awareness, notice when we are complaining, and at those times take a deep breath and focus on something good (at the very least you can remind yourself that you are breathing). Rick Hanson, PhD., a psychologist and neuroscientist, suggests practicing what he calls “Installing the Good.” Focusing on something good, dwelling on something positive about your partner and lingering on those thoughts using all of your senses changes the chemistry in your brain and actually rewires your circuitry lending itself to happiness and wellness. It helps you stay calm in the midst of stress and chaos in your life (self-regulation). Try this now… Pause… Take a deep breath and focus on a positive thought or something beautiful. Notice how you feel and linger on this feeling for 10 -20 seconds. Now try to bring this practice into your relationship with your partner – See what happens….. As always, we invite your feedback as you practice these exercises!

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