There are some parts of being married that simply exist and should not be presented as evidence of a decaying relationship: 1. “How come you are nicer to strangers than you are to your own wife/husband?” It is true that we play act with others but let our hair down at home. Sadly, we are often not our best selves with our partner. 2. Why can’t you hold my hand, like the Murphys?” Never compare your insides to another couple’s outsides. 3. “I love you but I am not in love with you.” The feeling of love vacillates in all marriages and is not a constant. 4. “I am definitely right on this one…” Truth is subjective. There is no “right” or “wrong,” there is your partner’s perspective and your perspective. Be interested in your partner’s point of view. 5. “You went out last Wednesday, so I get to go out this Wednesday.” Not all is divided equally - accept it. 6. “You never initiate sex.” The sexual arena is tainted by the mood of the relationship – you reap what you sow. 7. “We just do not have time to do a date night.” Putting your relationship on the back burner and expecting it to flourish is a mistake. We could go on and on with many of the “Themes and Issues” of marriage. Please understand that these are present in all relationships and should not be perceived as deal breakers. If you can embrace that these are parts of all relationships, perhaps you can be more forgiving of yourself and your partner and move forward together to address the tensions that these create.

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