We all have longings to hear from our partner that they understand and have compassion and empathy. Exercise: Take a moment to notice a situation in which your partner does not truly appreciate an action, or dynamic, in which you are putting yourself out but not feeling recognized. Using “Mat Skills” (one partner speaks and the other listens and summarizes what they have heard), tell your partner the unappreciated issue. Partner: Take in the situation your partner outlines and give back a full appreciation of what your partner describes. Deliver the affirmation. It is not about what you believe to be true (your side of the story). Give back what they want to hear. If you have difficulty with this exercise, notice what gets in the way either as a sender or a receiver.

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