For over a year now, we have had a Pearl on the topic of Fairness marinating on the sidelines. Each time we work on the Pearl, we are stymied and put it away. However incomplete, we thought we would put it out there to commence a dialogue with you wondering about the concept of fairness as it relates to relationships. This may require several revisions as we mull it over with your input added. Clearly, a topic, which we hear about frequently in our work, is that of fairness. One partner feels that the other has the better end of the deal and it is not “fair.” Events occur in life and it does not seem “fair.” A dishonest scoundrel seems to get rewarded, while the person who plays by the rules does not. We see examples all around us where things do not line up, yet we do not want to be hardened or cynical and say, “there is no fairness.” Is it a goal of your relationship that things be fair? Is one of you a glass half full person who sees possibilities for fairness, and your partner a glass half empty person who thinks that fairness is not even possible? Does one of you dwell on the concept of fairness more than the other? What role does fairness play in your relationship? How about in your life? Please send us your thoughts, so that we can gain perspective on this important and complicated topic.

We appreciate thoughts and ideas for future Pearls from our readership, please submit them to us at marrylabs@comcast.net.