One of the things couples often fight about is the differences between them. The person who is quick to process is frustrated by the person who needs to mull things over. The person who needs to go to bed early feels lonely and resentful of their partner who is a night owl. We could go on and on but suffice it to say that over time these differences lead to tensions and struggles. Understand that these differences are built into the relationship. They are part of what first attracted you to one another. It is a combination of “opposites attract” and the natural energy in the relationship toward individuation – If you are like this then I will become more of that. In carving out our own turf we naturally assume a different position in relation to our partner. If he is strict with the kids by nature she will be more lenient to compensate. Then the couple fights because “we are not on the same page.” For our own survival we struggle with separateness so we can breathe. We have so much to learn from our partner. Embrace the differences!

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