Many social scientists have studied the concept of mate selection. What are the variables that caused you to choose your partner? Similar values and background? You felt that “time was running out” and thus had to marry the person you were currently dating? Many years ago, a wise shaman proposed the following: Falling in love involves RESCUE. Each partner rescues the other from intolerable circumstances. Somewhere lurking in the unconscious elements of love is a romantic fable of Damsel or Dane in distress. It may be a painful family of origin from which you were plucked or your own thoughts about yourself – “I am too stupid (too ugly, too shy, too serious… etc) to be chosen.” The theory is that in the underbelly of each couple there lies a deeply romantic fable of rescue. Stop for a moment and look at whom you chose and consider what they rescued you from. Can you see how they saved you? Once you have identified the circumstances of how you rescued or were rescued, pause and show appreciation and gratitude for the very dire situation that you were once in and thank your partner for saving you.

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