Many of us are familiar with the term “wellness plan.” We know that when we follow such a plan (exercise, meditation, good nutrition, etc.), the overall health of our body and mind improves. When we don’t follow a healthy plan, we are more vulnerable overall and at risk for health problems and illness. The same is true for our relationships. Although we say we “want” a good relationship, many of us do not put the time and energy into developing a well thought out plan for the health and well- being of our relationship. Not having a plan in combination with unconscious behaviors such as taking each other for granted, speaking unkindly toward one another, not spending time together, etc., can take a huge toll on the relationships in our lives. Why is it so easy to default into unconscious behaviors? Whether we are talking about the temptation to eat that piece of cake or to ignore a “bid” from our partner because we are too tired, nothing bad happens instantaneously; we don’t immediately gain the weight or recognize ill effects on the relationship. However, over time the effects accumulate until the damage is already done. This is what gets our attention. If you were to develop your relationship wellness plan what would it include? Remember, small gestures matter – a touch on the hand, kind speech, making eye contact. What would you want to avoid? Long lapses not spending time together, ignoring opportunities to connect or repair disappointments and hurts. Take time to reflect on what the two of you do right, what do you do well as a couple? What are the challenges you have as a couple? What does your Relationship Wellness Plan look like? Which parts need attention?

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