What a year this has been! 2020 has been a year like no other with many trials and tribulations. We have all suffered, some more than others. It has also been a time to reflect on the many blessings in our lives that we had previously taken for granted. If this year has taught us anything, it has demonstrated that life is impermanent and precious. Our families, friends and relationships are fragile and need to be handled with care. Many of our clients have shared that they have been humbled by this pandemic, and have been rethinking what is truly important. Our work with couples has expanded to include a better understanding of how each partner relates to others; their partners, children, parents and friends. Our couples groups are evolving from focusing on “I want a good relationship, I want to be happy,” to focusing on “what do I need to do to have a good relationship?” “Who is the keeper of my relationship?” Much to ponder… A good relationship is not one without arguments and disappointments. It has been said that “Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” A healthy relationship is one in which we skillfully navigate the tensions and conflicts that afflict all relationships. The repair is in the reflection by both partners, the coming together, the sharing of what was helpful and what was not. We cannot stop the conflicts and tensions but we can commit to being kinder to ourselves and each other and not engage in old combative dialogue and patterns. Take time to reflect on the efforts and gains you have made in your relationship over this past year. Celebrate yourself and each other on the things that went right. Make this New Year a time to choose to have a “great” relationship! What behaviors do you plan to leave behind? Which ones do you plan to carry over? Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful New Year!

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