We have had an overwhelmingly positive response to last month’s Pearl on the power of words. Lately, we have been doing some useful work around not only the power of words we use with our partner, but the effect of changing the focus of the messages we impart to ourselves. In its attempts to repair painful episodes of our lives, therapy can unwittingly focus on and amplify the negative. It is a careful reworking of some critical, injurious period. In our groups, we have been experimenting with altering the lens. As opposed to exercising the negative or painful aspects of our lives, we are examining the positive elements of a period of time that previously we were demonizing. Words are powerful and can negatively impact our relationship, but thoughts and focus of our attention can also direct our attention to the negative. Take a moment to think back to a painful awkward period of your life. Look at the landscape. What else was going on? What did you receive or experience that you can appreciate in becoming the person you are today? Those negative painful periods were also laden with positive elements that we tend to overlook.

We appreciate thoughts and ideas for future Pearls from our readership, please submit them to us at marrylabs@comcast.net.