Over and over again, we see couples who seem to hate each other. It is hard to imagine that at one time, these folks were in love and getting married (honeymoon phase). They say, “We have nothing in common – we are so different.” Exactly – that is why they are together. Opposites do attract – we have lots to teach one another, but what is the process of alienation? For most, all is manageable until the kids are born and couples have to deal with differences in parenting and the time required for raising a child. People long for “The Good Old Days,” when they had time for themselves and did not have to negotiate who was getting up during the night, who was staying home from work with a sick child, etc. and the issue only gets compounded as they have child number two, three or four. While we are at it, we need to address the differences on parental expectations today VS when you were growing up. It seems that our parents and previous generations were not “in tune” with their children’s emotional needs and parents today are burdened by expecting to be exquisitely aware of their child’s needs. Raising children today, requires super human efforts at meeting children’s physical and emotional needs above all else (keeping water in the reservoir of your relationship and self-care). It is as though childrens’ needs supplant all needs of nurturing one another which leads to couples dissatisfaction and our high divorce rate. There needs to be a better balance between caring for the kids and actively loving one another and taking time for self.

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