Love is one of those words that can be a noun or a verb, it is both a feeling and behavior. Recently, we asked one of our couple’s groups, “How do you express love to your partner? How often do you express love to each other?” After thoughtful reflection, many began to talk about how they hold back, and how difficult it can be to express love to their partner, fear of not being good enough, fear of being judged by self or other, fear of rejection. Some admitted to just not thinking about it often enough, or taking the time to demonstrate their feelings for one another, and how alone they often feel in their relationship. Love is based on a conscious decision to value one another. Many of you are familiar with the Five Love Languages as described by Gary Chapman, gifts, acts, time, touch and words. Many couples work on delivering these currencies to their partner as “homework.” Although this is certainly beneficial to relationships, expressing love goes way beyond homework assignments. It is about integrating expressions of love into our everyday life, in daily conversation and behavior with others, practicing active listening, doing kind gestures, leaving a note, giving a kiss, or making a meal or a cup of tea for your partner, saying thank you or giving words of comfort and support. Key elements in “loving” your partner are respect, gratitude and appreciation. Some of us have an easier time than others when it comes to expressing love, and if you are one of those people, you may need to put in more effort. One thing we know for sure is that expressing love not only leads to better relationships, but also improves our overall health and well-being. So, remember, don’t hold back! We would love to hear some of your ideas and ways that you “love” your partner.

We appreciate thoughts and ideas for future Pearls from our readership, please submit them to us at marrylabs@comcast.net.