For many, the month of November represents giving Thanks, but what does this actually mean? A report in the Harvard Mental Health Letter states: 'A study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.' When we practice gratitude toward our partner we are actually planting seeds to transform our relationship in significant ways. Cultivating and practicing gratitude helps us to focus on the good things in our lives and we begin to see more roses and fewer thorns. This shift in focus changes the way we see our partners and our relationships, and we can more easily appreciate each other for who they are instead of criticizing them for not being who we want them to be. We start to see their good qualities rather than their flaws. Gratitude helps us to build stronger connections, empathy and communication with our partner – key essentials for healthy relationships. Regular practice of gratitude lays a resilient foundation in relationships that is a resource for difficult challenges. So how can we express appreciation and gratitude toward one another? You can start with making the commitment to take a few minutes each day to give thanks and show gratitude. Perhaps write them a note, or send a text expressing something you appreciate about them, or do acts of kindness like making your partner a cup of tea. Build into your daily routine a time to tell your partner of a character trait they have that you appreciate, perhaps their kindness or sense of humor. Small efforts go a long way. We would love to hear how you give thanks in your relationships!

We appreciate hearing your thoughts on this Pearl and your ideas for future Pearls. Please submit them to us at marrylabs@comcast.net.