It seems that some relationships grow stronger over time while others weaken. What are the telltale signs that your relationship is headed in the right direction? We know that all relationships go through particular stages, and that the “Honeymoon Phase” fades over time and is replaced by the disappointment phase. Similarities begin to dim and differences become more glaring. Are you able as a couple to listen to your partner’s feedback (complaints?) or is it difficult for one or both of you to truly “hear” your partner’s perspective? One critical aspect of allowing relationships to thrive is being receptive to your partner’s point of view. Because we know that opposites attract, and often couples get stuck around their differences, can you each see that these differences actually make your relationship stronger (we have lots to teach each other)? Can you honor and learn from differences? Another indicator that your relationship is headed in the right direction, is a commitment to working on things together. A key element is having a strong commitment to the relationship by both partners. When things get rocky, do you say or think “I’m out of here” or do you acknowledge that all relationships go through difficult times and you will work on things together? Lastly, noticing and responding to your partner’s bids strengthens connection. Do you look for and notice when your partner offers a bid? If your partner offers an idea or suggestion, lean into what they are saying and acknowledge them. Too many times we are distracted or on our phones and we are not even aware of the bid being made. What signs do you see in your relationship that indicate that you are headed in the right direction?

We appreciate hearing your thoughts on this Pearl and your ideas for future Pearls. Please submit them to us at marrylabs@comcast.net.