We are living in unprecedented times of stress. There are no road maps on how to navigate getting through this difficult time, and to say that our busy lives are taking a toll on our relationships is an understatement. It is normal to find ourselves feeling short with our partner and overly reactive to what is said. As 2024 comes to a close, look back on this past year and reflect on your relationship. Perhaps do a Relationship Edit. Find a time when you can sit together and write down and discuss what challenges you have faced over this past year. How did you meet these challenges individually and as a couple? What is working well and what is not. How have your recovery strategies worked during challenging times? Take stock of your fundamental strengths individually and as a couple. A Relationship Edit involves reviewing your relationship, keeping what works well and discarding patterns and behaviors that do not serve you. Each of you make a list of ideas that would improve your relationship. Perhaps, be more patient, less defensive, be kinder, less stubborn, more forgiving. During times of conflict and stress it is easy to forget that you are on the same team. It is tempting to retreat to your own cave when hurt and in pain. It is useful to recognize that you are not the only one suffering. Perhaps both of you are hurting. Wouldn’t it be nice to turn toward each other with compassion, putting the issue aside to acknowledge what is really important. Focus on the love that brought you together. Celebrate the successes! Set intentions for how you want your relationship to look moving forward and appreciate yourselves and each other for your efforts. We can all learn from the image above. Happy Holidays!

We appreciate hearing your thoughts on this Pearl and your ideas for future Pearls. Please submit them to us at marrylabs@comcast.net.