Last week a plane crashed and rolled over onto it’s back. Flames and smoke were throughout the cabin. It was a life and death situation. One passenger was so caught up in videoing the scene that he risked his own life and other passengers behind him. When did it become more important to document than flee? Recently, we noticed that clients spend time thumbing through their phones to read aloud the list of “He said/ she said” injustices. We stop them and ask the client to just tell us in their own words what happened, what it meant to them. There is so much more valuable information to share, however some are more focused on being accurate and right, making sure they have the correct data. Why something feels significant or hurtful has much more to do with the meaning we make of it and feelings related to our “inner child.” The meaning we make of things is subjective and more important than the “data.” Next time you are pulled to document the data and keep lists to support all the injustices, pause, reflect on what is going on inside of YOU. What are you thinking and feeling, where do you feel it in your body? Take care of you, connect with yourself, and then have a more productive dialogue with your partner that includes both of you.

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