John D. Kaplan, P.C.
John D. Kaplan, LICSW is the Founder and Co-Director of Marriage Labs and a certified Couples Communication Trainer. John was the Clinical Director at a community mental health center where he worked for over twenty years training therapists in Group and Family Systems work. He has been in the Mental Health field for over thirty years as a clinician, supervisor, and educator while consulting to various schools, parent groups, community agencies, and family-owned businesses.

Gail Kaplan, P.C.
Gail Kaplan, LMHC is Co-Director of Marriage Labs. Gail is a nurse and psychotherapist and has been in private practice working with couples and individuals for over twenty years. Other areas of expertise include mind-body relaxation training, behavioral health management and women’s issues.  

Founded in 1992, Marriage Labs is a comprehensive psycho-educational program for couples who want to improve the quality of their relationship.  It can be utilized as Marriage Enrichment for those whose marriages have lost the excitement that once existed and for Marriage Assessment for those who are questioning the viability of their relationship.  Marriage Labs is also particularly useful as a premarital program to help couples get off to the right start: a kind of Marriage Insurance.  

To achieve the optimum results from Marriage Labs, it is suggested that couples enroll in a “Boot Camp.”  This is a short term series of sessions geared to looking at various aspects of relationship functioning.  Current themes are explored along with each individual’s history in order to create a context for issues.  During the time of the Boot Camp, couples are encouraged to enroll in a Couples Communication Course to learn a healthy model for adult conversation. 

Following the completion of the Boot Camp and the Couples Communication class, many couples elect to enroll in a Gender Dialogue Group which is a monthly seminar to discuss a variety of issues related to relationship.  These serve as a booster shot to help reinforce the new and healthy patterns established during the course of Marriage Labs work.  

Marriage Labs was built upon the belief that all problems are shared 50 – 50.  There are no “good guys” or “bad guys” but we each contribute equally to the dynamics of the relationship.  Couples tie complicated knots together and it is the role of the Marriage Labs Counselor along with the couple to untie these knots. Each person is encouraged to look at his/ her role in a problem posed rather than pointing the finger at the other as one can only change themselves they cannot change the other. Along with communication skills, tools of relationship building are offered in an attempt to change destructive patterns.

Marriage Labs is a program with the "Pot of Gold" at the end being able to participate in a monthly "Gender Dialogue Group" with six or seven other couples to explore together the commonalities that all couples share - the process is a normalizing one not a pathologizing one.     

As most couples fear exposure and vulnerability the program builds slowly and sequentially - couples do not just enroll in a Gender Dialogue Group as they first must be introduced to the program and gain the skills required by going through a ten session "boot camp" with either John or Gail (couple alone with therapist) and taking a Couple Communication Course complete with workbooks and power point to learn communication skills (talking, listening and conflict resolution).  It is after completing these steps that couples earn the right to join a once a month group which serves as a booster shot to reinforce their new skills.

When most people go to a couples therapist, it resembles going to a doctor (or expert) because there is a problem (or illness) which needs to be "cured."  It is a "secret" - you are ashamed, do not tell friends and relatives - it is private and there is a stigma and hopefully this expert can help you (medical model). 

At Marriage Labs you are working with a guide or coach who has a bundle of experience and information gained from other couples which they are sharing with you - couples helping other couples.  It is about perspective sharing and normalizing the problems that all marriages experience:

   • We are in this together
   • It is normal to have problems (and ok)
   • Many problems are predictable just because of the nature of the beast (marriage) and there are actually some tools that can offer you relief

In regular couples therapy the couple leads the therapist.  The therapist follows along offering support in a non-judgmental, neutral, somewhat passive model.  The therapist is often baffled, hoping they are being helpful, and sometimes "just by talking it out" things improve.  Some couples report that by going and talking with a neutral party things get better though many couples say, "Things got worse not better.  We went a few times and never went back."

At Marriage Labs the approach is different as the therapist leads the couple.  This is to say that the Kaplans utilize a psychoeducational approach to marriage counseling in which they have amassed (and continue to amass) a fund of information which they hope to impart to the couple to normalize the process - you do not need to be "in trouble" to attend a Marriage Labs seminar as the Kaplans do Premarital Counseling (Marriage Insurance to help couples get off on the right foot) and Marriage Enrichment to rekindle marriages which have lost their luster. 

The premise is that all couples have problems, it is normal to have problems, and there are tools that can be helpful in dealing with them.  There is no shame in attending a Marriage Labs course, in fact many couples refer friends and relatives so that they too may benefit from the program.

Kate, 43 “Our last couple’s therapy experience was dreadful. We fought a lot more and got worse not better.  I’m so glad my neighbor told me about Marriage Labs as we learned a lot.  We are on the same page for the first time in a long time.  It’s nice to know that we’re not crazy but just like a lot of people who are struggling with normal problems.”  

Bill, 27 “When my fiancé first suggested we go to Marriage Labs, I did not want to go.  Our wedding was five months away and I figured if we had to go to counseling before we got married there really was something messed up.  Boy do I feel like an idiot!  Everyone getting married should have to do something like this.  We learned so much and now go back for a quick ‘booster shot’ when we get into a jam.”  

Carla, 58 “My divorce lawyer referred us to Marriage Labs as he thought we needed to give it one last shot and I’m so glad we went.  Not only did it save our marriage – we fell in love all over again.”  

Dick, 37 “With three young kids our marriage had really taken a back seat.  Marriage Labs helped us to reprioritize and pay attention to each other again.  Thank you.”  

Click here to learn more about Marriage Labs courses and workshops.