It seems that frequently in a couple there is one person who is intent on proving that their family is somehow “better” than the other person’s (in a blended family, it often takes the guise of “my kids are better than your kids”). This action takes many forms, some subtle, some overt. It can be, wanting to spend excessive time with your own family while snubbing your partner’s or simply never missing an opportunity to say something snide about your partner’s mother? father? Although the insulted partner may agree that their family does not measure up, it is still hurtful. Some people use scapegoating the other’s family to maintain an alliance with their own family (see Pearl February 2013 Choosing Your Partner). An important Marriage Labs theme is having a generous attitude toward your partner vs. a competitive one, and this competitive view of family seems destructive. You should not have to choose one family over another. You each bring valuable assets from our own family, and what is important is the family you are currently building together.