Mixed messages are the bane of our relationships. Some folks are born accommodators or rather were trained in their families growing up to accommodate, while others are more assertive and accustomed to getting their way. Naturally they marry each other and create a pattern of one leading and the other following. This structure is not all bad as couples accomplish life tasks and generally avoid conflict. The problem arises inevitably when the accommodator grows developmentally and now has an opinion; a Self. The best relationships are marked by flexibility and expansiveness. This means that people share in decision-making / leading and following. Rather than impulsively saying “yes” practice pausing and being true to yourself (self-talk). Do I really not care that you made all the vacation plans again, choosing where you wanted to go? Do I have opinions, which are being ignored because you are more rigid in your beliefs while I tend to be flexible? Yes people need to practice saying “no” while no people need to practice saying “yes.” It will help you to grow individually and as a couple.