A common problem that we encounter with couples is when one person “changes the deal.” It seems that people make agreements and as circumstances change, perspectives do also. Sometimes a couple makes an agreement that the woman will return to work following her maternity leave, but then she changes her mind and wants to stay home. Friends recently told us how in the early days, they were greatly offended that their young children were not included in a family wedding invitation, and now years later in planning their own daughter’s wedding it is “not for kids.” There are couples in which one person wants children and their spouse does not. Several years later, the one that was strongly opposed now wants to try and their partner refuses. How can one feel so strongly about something and then alter their position? The option to change one’s mind should always be available and one should not hold their partner to a stringent position, however it is important in the negotiations to acknowledge that your opinion has changed and the reasons behind it, so that your partner does not feel frustrated and manipulated. We are always evolving and adapting. Flexibility and stretching are keys to dynamic relationships.