It seems that one of the most difficult “opposites attract” scenarios is that of the spender married to the saver. Couples get stuck in their roles with one person constantly frustrated by the other’s spending habits. We have tried various strategies to move people off their entrenched positions. Offering perspective and trying to point out that it is not black or white but gray fails miserably. Having each partner write down all they spend for the month (reality) does not seem to shake people off their belief about the other. Alas it seems that we each have our own relationship to money. Some folks make $45,000 a year and seem comfortable with their life style while others make $350,000 and it is never enough. Thus we have concluded that it truly is not how much you spend or save. It is your own comfort level regarding finances. Rather than pointing fingers at your mate, you need to explore your own relationship to money especially examining the origins of those beliefs. We once did an exercise with a couple in which a fellow was always complaining about his wife’s spending. It turned out that he grew up in a wealthy town and his father was a barber. He would visit friends’ homes and think, “Someday I will make a lot of money.” Today he does make a lot of money but he admits that it is a hollow goal as he is dissatisfied in so many aspects of his life because of his drive for wealth. Indeed it is true that money cannot buy happiness. What is truly important?