Couples can skirmish about anything at anytime, but one constant seems to be the tension created by having different priorities. Recently, we sat with a couple in which the wife was furious because the baby’s room was “still not painted” (she is due in seven weeks). For his part, the husband spent most of the weekend chopping and splitting wood to heat their home. Admittedly, he enjoys being outside and he wanted “to get ahead of it” before the severe weather arrived. She had been requesting for the past several weekends that he paint the room so she could begin to set it up and “the baby could come at any time now.” How do we sort out different priorities? Because it is important to you, is that reason enough for me to make it a top priority? Can we decide for ourselves the order of importance? Perhaps smoother negotiating skills are required so that you each are represented and a consensus reached. On Friday night, before the weekend starts, you should each separately write down your top priorities including who is driving which kid to which event. Then, share your list with your partner and make agreements about who will do what and when. Coordination and agreement of tasks can lessen resentment. We appreciate thoughts and ideas for future Pearls from our readership, so please submit them to our email marrylabs@comcast.net.