In regular couples therapy the couple leads the therapist. The therapist follows along offering support in a non-judgmental, neutral, somewhat passive model. The therapist is often baffled, hoping they are being helpful, and sometimes "just by talking it out" things improve. Some couples report that by going and talking with a neutral party things get better though many couples say, "Things got worse not better. We went a few times and never went back." At Marriage Labs the approach is different as the therapist leads the couple. This is to say that the Kaplans utilize a psychoeducational approach to marriage counseling in which they have amassed (and continue to amass) a fund of information which they hope to impart to the couple to normalize the process - you do not need to be "in trouble" to attend a Marriage Labs seminar as the Kaplans do Premarital Counseling (Marriage Insurance to help couples get off on the right foot) and Marriage Enrichment to rekindle marriages which have lost their luster. The premise is that all couples have problems, it is normal to have problems, and there are tools that can be helpful in dealing with them. There is no shame in attending a Marriage Labs course, in fact many couples refer friends and relatives so that they too may benefit from the program. Marriage Labs’ program has a "Pot of Gold" at the end: the monthly "Gender Dialogue Group." With six or seven other couples, you explore together the commonalities that all couples share - the process is a normalizing one not a pathologizing one. As most couples fear exposure and vulnerability the program builds slowly and sequentially - couples do not just enroll in a Gender Dialogue Group as they first must be introduced to the program and gain the skills required by going through a ten session "boot camp" with either John or Gail (couple alone with therapist) and taking a Couple Communication Course complete with workbooks and power point to learn communication skills (talking, listening and conflict resolution). It is after completing these steps that couples earn the right to join a once a month group which serves as a booster shot to reinforce their new skills. When most people go to a couples therapist, it resembles going to a doctor (or expert) because there is a problem (or illness) which needs to be "cured." It is a "secret" - you are ashamed, do not tell friends and relatives - it is private and there is a stigma and hopefully this expert can help you (medical model). At Marriage Labs you are working with a guide or coach who has a bundle of experience and information gained from other couples which they are sharing with you - couples helping other couples. It is about perspective sharing and normalizing the problems that all marriages experience: • We are in this together • It is normal to have problems (and ok) • Many problems are predictable just because of the nature of the beast (marriage) and there are actually some tools that can offer you relief

why marriage labs?